How many times in life have you been in a situation where you were left completely and utterly at a loss for what was going to happen next in your life? I’m talking major events, a job loss, a death in the family, a miscarriage, bankruptcy, a move, a divorce, an illness or injury that changed your life forever; something that rocked your world to the core and left you stunned. Unfortunately, I’ve been faced with this on more than one occasion. Each time, I feel pain, confusion, brokenness and I don’t understand what is happening. However, I see growth, learning, and inner strength that I’ve never seen before come alive.
At one point in my life when I was going through one of these rock your world, change your life moments, I was given a clear and beautiful picture of hope. At the time, my husband had lost his job and I was expecting baby #3. Two years prior we had moved across country, specifically for this job, that was ending too abruptly and at a very crucial time in our lives. We had just spent the last two years becoming our own family, starting over from scratch in a new place we’d never heard of and starting to make a life for ourselves and getting on our own two feet so to speak…or so we thought. That’s when the news came that he would no longer be employed in 3 months times. We had only known for about a week that I was expecting again.
I remember having a yard sale in hopes to save up some cash for wherever it was that we were headed next. As I sat at my rickety, worn out patio table in the driveway hoping someone would come and buy our “treasures” tears poured down my cheeks. I sobbed uncontrollably. What were we going to do, where were we going to go, how would we get there? All these questions and more loomed around in my mind as I could not comprehend the situation. Chalk it up to hormones if you’d like, but I know I was really feeling hopeless. I let the tears fall as I listened to the words from the song, Oceans by Hillsong United.
I sat writing “Spirit lead me where my trust is without borders, let me walk upon the waters wherever you may call me. Take me deeper than my feet could ever wander and my faith will be made stronger in the presence of my Savior,” over and over on my notebook; actually, thankful that no one did show up to the sale as they would have taken one look at me and high tailed it out of there!
These words hit me like a ton of bricks, reminding me that’s what I was supposed to do in this situation. Allow my faith and trust in God to become more than just something I believed, but something that I truly lived. Even though I knew this, it didn’t make the moment any easier. I still worried, I cried, and I felt lost once again. I didn’t know what else to say or pray. I could only have peace in the fact that Jesus is my Savior. That He is such a big, great God. That He was in control even if I felt like my life was spiraling out of control. Even though I was an emotional wreck, pregnancy hormones or not, deep in my heart I had a peace knowing that He was in control. That’s a peace that only comes with knowing Him on a personal level. Having cultivated a relationship with Him over time, learning more about who He is and what He has done for me, a wretched sinner.
Later, I was given a very clear and beautiful picture that brought my heart such peace during this trial. If you can, picture this with me. It’s your long-awaited wedding day. My husband and I recently celebrated our 10-year anniversary. So our wedding day is fresh in my mind as we celebrate this milestone and brings even more depth to this picture I was given.
Your wedding day. The BIG day. The day you have been dreaming of since you were a little girl. You’re surrounded by all of those who love you most, to celebrate and support your relationship with the one you cherish. The weather is perfect, the decorations are beautiful, and you can think of nothing else other than walking down that aisle joining hands and making vows to become one with the man that looks upon you with nothing but love in his eyes and hope in his heart for the future you are about to start together. As you make your way towards him, your eyes are glued to Him, you drown out all the noise around you. You forget that there are even other people in the room, steadily you make your way down the aisle. All you can think about is the excitement, anticipation and love that you feel for him. As you stand before him, gazing into his beautiful eyes, standing face to face, love washes over you, floods your soul and blesses you beyond anything you’ve ever felt before. He says to you, keep your eyes on me. You shut out everything around you and focus on him alone. What a beautiful. Precious. Moment.
Now, replay that scenario in your head again and instead of picturing your husband at the end of the aisle, picture Christ, your Bridegroom. He says to you as you are about to take that first step towards Him, “keep your eyes on me”. There are lots of other people around, noise, distractions, obstacles that life throws in our way and through it all you hear, “keep your eyes on me”. Nothing else matters but having that laser focus on the bridegroom at the end of the aisle. All that excitement and anticipation is about to explode your mind when you stand before Him face to face. As you make your way towards Him you are tempted to look to the left and to the right. You want to see who else is there, you get distracted. He says, “keep your eyes on me, for it is when you look to the left and you look to the right that things start to get shakey”, doubt and discouragement creep in. As you’re walking, He says, “put one foot in front of the other where I am your solid ground”. Trust me that I will get you to the alter where you will stand next to me; where we will see each other face to face. Where peace flows like a river and hope abounds, keep your eyes on me.
After I had this picture of myself walking to the Bridegroom, I was reminded of what is truly important; keeping our eyes on Jesus. So many things in this life want to deter us from that very thing that He keeps whispering to us. His voice is being drowned out from all the noise. We live in a world full of sorrow, pain, heartache, loneliness and tragedy. Marriages are being attacked, families are falling apart. It seems we are losing the battle of faith, hope and love. Hold on dear friend, don’t let the hardness of life, the unexpected world rocking circumstances keep you from looking to Him. Instead, let them draw you closer to Him, taking your relationship even deeper with Him.
I want you to know, no matter what circumstance you are facing today, that He IS our hope and stay. He is ALWAYS FAITHFUL. The love that He has for his Bride (YOU) is worth every shake up that comes our way. Do not lose heart and do not give in, keep fighting the good fight and keep your eyes on Jesus.